THE MEDIA AND THE MYTHS

by Julie Owens, Editor

Like almost everyone else in the country, I have been following the media coverage of the Nicole Simpson-Ronald Goldman murders. It has been disturbing that most of the attention and sympathy has been directed at O.J. Simpson, and not toward the murder victims themselves. Most of that which has been printed or discussed about the two has been for purposes of trying to understand how they as individuals ended up as murder victims. Simply put, the unspoken questions being asked by the media are, "What is it about their lifestyles or their personalities that made them likely to be murder victims?" and "What could they have done to avoid such a violent end?" Since we live in a society which has been asking these questions about domestic violence victims for years, and looking to them - not to their abusers - to explain why domestic violence occurs, the media's approach to this tragedy comes as no surprise.

One article that appeared in the newspaper recently was entitled, "Women Are Responsible, Too." In it the authors characterized domestic violence as a "dance of mutual destructiveness" in which women are as likely as men to be perpetrators of abuse. This "dance," they wrote, "is one in which the victim and the perpetrator are both typically individuals who 'need' each other to perpetrate personal and collective dramas of victimization and lovelessness."

In comparing such a pervasive social problem to a dance, the deadly potential of family violence was minimized, and battering victims were portrayed as willing participants. By further suggesting that women should actually be held accountable for their participation in the abuse, the writers grossly misrepresented the hostage- like dynamics of abuse which all too often lead to murder.

If men and women are equally violent, as this article and others have suggested, and domestic violence really is a problem of "mutual destructiveness," how can the following facts be explained?

9 out of 10 murdered women are killed by men
3 out of 4 women are murdered by their partners
4000 men kill their partners every year, while every year 500-750 women kill their partners
1 woman is murdered by her partner in Hawaii every 20-30 days, and yet it is unusual to hear of a woman killing her partner
When men kill women, it is rarely in self-defense
When women kill men, they are 7 times more likely to kill in self-defense
When men kill women, they typically kill a woman whom they have repeatedly attacked
When women kill men, they typically kill a man who has repeatedly attacked them

Inaccurately defining domestic violence as mutual abuse perpetuates dangerous misconceptions about battered women. Stereotyping victims as either willing combatants or masochistic "women who love too much" sets us back years in our efforts to educate the public about the fact that no one ever deserves or "asks for" abuse.

The uncomfortable truth is that any women could one day find herself being abused, regardless of her personal characteristics. But until the truth is known, those who physically defend themselves will likely be labeled as mutual combatants. Those who don't will be labeled as co-dependents.

Media-generated misinformation about domestic violence does more than just perpetuate ignorance. It may actually endanger the lives of battered women. Victims who are told that they are equally responsible for the abuse will try to change in order to stop their partner's violence. Armed with a false sense of control over the abuser's behavior, they will be busy trying to adapt instead of focusing on their safety needs. Meanwhile the abuse will continue to escalate, in some cases to the point of murder.

We can never hope to stop domestic violence if we insist on trying to explain or understand it by studying the victims. If we want to stop the violence, we have to start putting the focus on those who use the violence. We can start the process by shifting our focus from "why she stays" to "why he hits."

If partner abuse continues to be so misunderstood and misinterpreted in the media, it is going to be extremely difficult to dispel the myths, convince victims that abuse is not their fault, or garner support for the necessary child-centered prevention programs. Domestic violence is everybody's problem, and holding batterers - and not the victims - accountable for the violence is everybody's responsibility. Every time an article is printed or a story reported which blames the victims for their own abuse, the media has lost a precious opportunity to speak the truth and offer hope to thousands of people.

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